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Funniest & Most Inappropriate Reactions to my Pregnancy on Instagram

dscf4160-2Today I decided to put a fun post together. Louise, Nikita and I often talk about all those unsolicited dickpics we get in our DM, about how deeply disturbing that is, and how much we would like for that practice to stop. However, there is more to DM and comment section, than dickpics.
A while ago, I announced my pregnancy on Instagram, and I’ve got a ton of positive and lovely response, and am very thankful to have countless followers that are so supportive. However, when you have 180k followers on Instagram in our patriarchal world, there is bound to be some inadequate audience writing inappropriate stuff. Do keep in mind that this is laughter through tears, as I do find it utterly disturbing, that there are so many of those, who think the following is appropriate to write to a complete stranger. Still, spelling and stupidity of some of those comments & requests do make me and my nearest laugh every day, and today I’m sharing this laughter with you. Let’s look at the funniest, most unsuitable responces to my pregnancy:

As son as I announced that I was pregnant, my DM got filled with questions like this:

are-u-pregnant

Because obviously, me writing that I am pregnant under a picture of me holding my round baby bump is not confirming the fact that I am, in fact, pregnant.

After a little while more elaborate questions started coming in in the commentary section, like

howgot-pregnant

and

how

Hmmmm….. Now with Google, porn and YouTube, I thought there weren’t any people roaming the internet, that still had this question unanswered… Apparently that is not the case and several people around the globe are even now left wondering. How and why does one gets pregnant?!

Soon, some good Samaritans came by to enlighten those poor wandering souls:

keepputtingsexypictures

What a nice & simple explanation: If one keeps putting sexy pictures on instagram, one should not be surprised upon finding oneself pregnant. Now, I don’t know, what exactly he is imagining got me pregnant, I guess all those lusty thoughts of men of the internet … Anyways, he might have gotten the concept of human conception all wrong. Unless, there is another theory of human conception out there, that I’m not aware of and men’s lusty thoughts do get women pregnant!!!!

iseemtobethefather

This guy seems to believe that theory as well.

Then came this guy and finally explained it all very plainly:

mffuckedu

And this guy too:

toomuchdick

Next one was a bit more poetic:

mischief

And finally, the shortest answer to how one does get pregnant is:

ufucking

When we finally figured out the mystery of conception, and the fact that I am, in deed, pregnant have gotten confirmed by numerous pictures of my growing baby bump, my DM got filled with all sorts of alluring offers.

The short ones:

wannafuckbeautifullaaregnant

The sort of, almost polite ones:

iwannaseedoyoumind

And the amusing ones:

pant

Disguising and traumatizing – yes, but not more than that. Then I got this one:

ineedtoseeyouinsweden

Ooookkkeyyy… not creepy at all….

Just as I thought, that nothing will top the creepiness of “I NEED” guy, this master of disguise came along:

magasine

That’s how it works: If she doesn’t answer to your sex-request, just pretend to me a “Mom Magazine” IN THE SAME FEED. And hey – the photos are going to be made IN ME – isn’t that a classic Freudian slip?

Now all those messages are wildly inappropriate, but yet comprehensible. Nevertheless, this philosopher managed to ask a question I simply cannot answer:

02-whorualways

I truly don’t know who am I always pregnant, I wish I knew though, I wish I knew….

P.S. This post is written solely in English, as it just doesn’t make any sense to talk in Danish about messages written entirely in English.

   

1 kommentar

  • Oliver Wiinberg Rasmussen

    Du ser SÅ godt ud! Passer det, at du skal være med i filmatiseringen af den supersjove ebog Direktørens sekretærer? Det vil være så sejt gået!

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